Only losers get burnt

We've got the back bar open tonight, we're supposed to be busy but it's 10pm and there's time for some fun.  I've had some friends in, they know Nick one of the reps at Escapades and have come in night after night to start their evening. They're a great bunch and after some laughs I set up the arm-wrestling table.

At the back end of the bar we had some heavy duty 'perching' tables, so heavy infact they could break a leg if they dropped on someone. With Absinthe deposited at 3 and 6 o'clock the stage is set and the games commence. Naturally I start the proceedings and after the rules are ironed out we get down to business. First up is our lad Pugsley. He game as fuck and who can blame him - he's wearing a Stella Artois T-Shirt and he's taking no prisoners. With the Absinthe alight, hands clenched we commence battle. After what seems like forever, victory is mine and the the burns will last til they arrive home. Pugsley put up an awesome battle and my arm was left for dead. Well done.

Next up is a battle between friends: Dale and Andrew step up to the plate.

Fresh Absinthe is added, and the flames rise with a burning desire to win, the gents set down. After some disputes about handling, and positions of elbows I pull the lads aside and put the rules back into the game. The atmosphere is charged and with new guests now in the bar, the pressure is really on!

Both contenders are ready again and with that I signal to begin....They wrestle, back and forth the mighty guns explode with dynamism and power, with each man feeling the heat from the puddle of death and before long the battle is put into disrepute with foul play.

Cheaters never win. And as the battle closes with a draw I get back to my station to reward them with a tipple of our finest Sambucca.

The shots are necked, straight up no chaser and we set about laughing as the burns begin to sting. In a while, we're still larking about but we're over at the Cocktail bar with Wilson setting up some Gas Chambers for us all. It's times like these I wonder what the daily commute to the office has for me, how it could never compare to the fun had at Sgt Peppers back in 2004...

Pugsley tried to climb the 'ropey pole' - clearly to demonstrate he still had some degree of manliness in him but fortunately I was there to teach him a lesson for the second time this evening. You can see Wilson in the background as we hear Pugsley's balls crunch against the bar.

Oh what fun we had, it didn't really turn out bad.