Sunset losers

It's Wednesday, which means we get in the bar slightly earlier then usual. It's one of the worst nights really, not because it's Wednesday, it's a few things that always happen...but R'n'B Night which is tonight is just that...It was always referred to as 'black night' behind the bar (being ironic as the place was full of white folk), as it wasn't actually anything other then all your petty trouble makers wearing their finest track suits, from back home (the peasants that wouldn't get in to Garlands and who had probably been at Es Paradis' water party all afternoon) getting their shit on and throwing down some shapes to the likes of R Kelly (Old coke and rummm), Nas and anything else that actually had a d-o-p-e beat. Snoop Dogg always had a spot and Jaffa made sure the wheels of steel were actually used (as opposed to a mix-tape/CD) with running commentary a plenty. Jaffa liked this night in particular, as we always got the cheap tarts in, and they love a DJ right Jaffa?)

The 'lookie-lookies' will turn up just to give the gig an authentic Afro-Caribbean vibe, straight outta Ghana. As always, the night started off with the Sunset Losers, commonly know as Cruisers, these fine folk do this week-in, week-out. They've been out on a boat, visiting the usual spots around the coast finishing up watching the sun go down as the kids throw tantrums. In come the kids, the saucy mothers dressed up as Mutton, friendly as fuck. Dad just wants a pint.
We're in Ibiza right, now does you think we're going to have a selection of Bitters on tap here? OK, let's ask what they have...(Northern accent) "Eh up, 4 pints of Bitter lad" Sorry, what's that you want? "You lad, pork scratchings?" No, sorry mate (Southern accent) we don't do bitter, how about an Absinthe with Tabasco you fucking mug? "Eh, Don, don't do bitter"....Then the ol' girl jumps out and shouts "I'll have a fucking vodka cooke"...Here we go. Same again?

They have asked for a cup of Tea. They have asked for various things, naturally I would point them over to the 'Cocktail' with a wink and a smile and say Darren said to look after you. Wilson wins.
I'll introduce Wilson right now. He's been working the Cocktails for a few years and does a few numbers on the side but that's a point to talk about in later posts when the DVD scenario comes into play - anyone that remembers that night will talk about it for years to come.

So, Wilson makes Cocktails but not just any Cocktail - I used to write his sign board up and I will confirm the drinks on offer were as follows:

• Blowjobs 
• Raging Bulls
• Gas Chambers
• Funnel of Death
• Wheel of Mis-Fortune
• Sex on the Beach (which was edited to Bar)

All Cocktails 5 EUROS, unless you were a rep and probably on the end of Wilsons shaker!!!

Here's a shot of the main bar menu...Absinthe & Aftershok...Three Euro.

The Gas Chambers were very popular, this involved burning After Shock, both red and blue mixed into a shot glass and keeping the fumes to be ingested like a gas mask. Here we have Simon or 'Parksy' known to many who worked for Thomas Cook. A good rep, knew the drill and made the most of the free booze - So much in fact, he got the title 'Cainer of the Year' and rightly so.

I will get around to introducing the current staff, and those that worked there long before my time and subsequently after my time too...There's a few legends amongst them, and of course a few bell-ends but that's enough about Charlie from Oz, he'll get a mention later.


We have to put up with this every Wednesday, usually stupidly tired from Tuesday's late night with JMC and Thomas Cook which was always a mad night. I'll get around to that soon.

I tend to start the evening up sat on the back bar watching UFC, Chuck Liddell in his prime. Though later in 2007 Quinton “Rampage” Jackson stopped the 'Iceman' but let's not deviate and talk about Dan Henderson.

This was always the best way to start of tonight as it set the mood for what would lay ahead, fucking agro night. What is it with middle-england and Rap Music? Hip-Hop is a lifestyle and these kids just wanna get their attitude on.
I blame 'Boyz in the Hood', and 'Juice'. Still, we're running the bar so we'll always have them bang to rights. The big lad (who tells me he's a drinking machine) in front of nine of his comrades is set to reign amongst them and show them how it's done. We see this every week too.

Now I'm always down with the banter so I say I'll pour you lads nine shots, with his being the stronger one. Ok, now this sounds simple, pour eight straight vodka and lime. One absinthe, poured before your eyes. Now, here's the twist? I had a plastic beaker with absinthe ready, but it had a sticker that said LIME on it. So, our big man will be good for the first, but he'll be fine to have a second of the Vodka lime his mates have just had. But his mates won't let on their shot was rank, why would they with all this bravado on show, who would.

Bingo, lets do it again, again, again. Fair play, eight shots in he's stacked it on his back, let alone the rest of them and subsequently I've put my back out dragging his fat hairy arse out the front. Eighty-euros later (cost of an ambulance), he'll be back to thank me ...tomorrow.

This is the usual here at Sgt. Peppers. When I first got behind the bar, I was nice. Then as the time passes, and boredom sets in, you have to spice things up somewhat, and with a fully stocked bar at your disposal, the games begin.